May '03 Epigrams of the Day

Socialism: 1) A sincere, sentimental, beneficent theory, which has but one objection, and that is, it will not work. 2) A plan by which the inefficient, irresponsible, ineffective, unemployable and unworthy will thrive without industry, persistence or economy. 3) An earnest effort to get Nature to change the rules for the benefit of those who are tired of the Game. 4) A social and economic scheme of government by which man shall loiter rather than labor. 5) A survival of the unfit. 6) A device for swimming without going near the H2O. 7) Participation in profits without responsibility as to deficits. 8) An arrangement for destroying initiative, invention, creation and originality. 9) Resolutions passed by a committee as a substitute for work. 10) A sentiment which encouraged and evolved would lead to revolution, with dynamiting and destruction as a prominent and recognized part of its propaganda. 11) A system for turning water into wine, kerosene into oyster soup, and boulders into bread, by passing resolutions.

Do your work as well as you can and be kind.

No great spiritual event befalls those who do not summon it.

Minimize friction and create harmony. You can get friction for nothing, but harmony costs courtesy and self-control.

Be pleasant until ten o'clock in the morning and the rest of the day will take care of itself.

Civilization is largely a matter of buttoning and unbuttoning.

Don't tell what you would do if you were someone else - just show what you can do yourself.

Some people get results if kindly encouraged - but give me the man who can do things in spite of hell!

Motherhood: The headliner in God's great vaudeville.

Acquaintance: Any one we bow to politely at the opera or shake hands with warmly in a barroom, but whom we would kick out of our homes. Hence, any one who has refused us a loan.

It is a good policy to leave a few things unsaid.

Cooperation to most folks is doing what they want you to do and doing it quickly.

No great spiritual event befalls those who do not summon it.

When what you have done in the past looks large to you, you haven't done much today.

Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.

Things that chew the cud do not catch anything.

Do not go out of your way to do good, but do good whenever it comes your way.

Slough your limitations.

Impossible things are simply those things which so far have never been done.

No man wins his greatest fame in that to which he has given most of his time: it's his side issue, the thing that he does for recreation, his heart's play-spell, that gives him immortality.

Give us the Bough, the Thou and the Jug in right proportion.

The men who make the deepest notches on the Stick of Time are not usually preceded by a brass band.

Beaten paths are for the Lilliputs. Climb the fence and cut across if you expect to "arrive."

There are only two classes of men who live in history: those who crowd a thing to its extreme limit, and those who then arise and cry, "Hold!"

Meet rudeness with unfailing politeness and see how much better you feel.

It takes energy to think. It is so much easier to jump to conclusions or accept some one else's view, than to climb, see and decide for yourself.

When in doubt, mind your own business.

The Roycroft Orb To return to the Epigram Guide Webpage.